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♥ Sunday, February 27, 2011 @ 9:27 PM
SUBJECT: Memories. :( I am struggling to be happy right now. I actually thought I was fine.. Until I read back my posts, I kept saying.. "Baby, I'm so lucky to have you." But recently, things changed so much.. You couldn't be like how I want you to be, You couldn't do one small thing for me. So now, I guess we're broken up? It was like a silent break up so yeah I guess. We were supposed to be like math. me + you = love forever. what happened? I was doing my homework, I can't even take out my calc. Thats when I got really down.. I remember, I had pictures of us on my calc. It's only been like 5 hours, and I'm already missing you so much. How do I move on? How do I get over you? I want to. But I can't. But I don't want you back either.. I can't want you back. I don't know what to do... I kept sitting here, hoping it was you everytime my phone vibrated.. But none of it was from you.. I just hope that, the next time my phone vibrates, it would be a call from you.. Hoping that you would say sorry and tell me you love me like how you always did.. Hoping that you would forgive me and my big mouth. Hoping that you would find it in your heart to do that little thing for me. Just that little thing and we'd both be happy. But then again, this "little thing" has made us fought over and over again.. But you just won't do it for me. I don't know why. It makes me so upset. It makes me feel like you don't love me enough. Why can't you just do it? Just that little thing for me? Because if you did do it, we wouldn't be fighting. All you have to do is open your mouth and say it. Is it that hard, honey? :( But you won't do it. You just wont. Is it worth losing me over? :( It is, isn't it? This will be a lot harder for me than it would be for you. Because you have someone to help you through it all.. I hope your friendship blossoms into something more. I hope that friendship was worth it all.. I know she will help you through it, dont worry. Just dont worry.. A person being there for you will make you get through it a lot easier. Trust me, I've been there. And I'm not happy about it. I had to make tough decisions and I chose you, so why are you doing this to me? Why are you being so unfair? It's my first relationship.. That lasted for a whole 17 months! Do you think it's easy to get through a first relationship that lasted for a fucking 17 months? No its not.. Its not hard for you, because it's not your first. kay.. bye.. -still wishing youd call me and tell me to come back ♥ :( But it's not gonna happen... you probably wont even read this... well k.. goodbye baby.. :(  |