Every single day, I want to call you so bad. But I know I shouldn't. I know you think it's annoying. But watch the person you love so much walk away from you, then tell me how it feels like. It doesn't feel nice, not at all! It feels like crap. And now I'm hurting emotionally and cramping physically. You don't even read my blog, so you probably won't read this. Why do I have to be the one to text you after school? Why is she with you wherever you go? I'm sorry, I wouldn't have cared.. But it's just.. She doesn't know about me.. She likes you.. It's not a very nice picture.

If I get cramps in the middle of the night, should I call you? Would you pick up? Or would you pick up and just shout at me? Or would you be like how you were before? When you gave me a hug and kisses through the phone, and told me everything's gonna be alright; that you're around; that you're always there for me? Or would you just not care because I'm not your business anymore?

You always make me so happy by saying that we will be together.. Just wait. And everything, and then out of a sudden, you would ruin my happiness by saying something like "IF we ever get back together again" or "maybe only". You make me feel so sure that you would want me back, that you would just be back, that I could just fall back in your arms again.. Which makes me smile like a retard. Then out of nowhere, you say those things that gets me down so much, you know??

How can you not be sure if you love me? How can you not be sure if you would ever get back with me again? I'm not saying like right now, all I'm asking of you is to give me an answer if we WILL or we WON'T. Because if we will, I promise you, honey, I'll wait for you. No matter how long it takes to get you ready again.

It kills me when you say "I don't know", "IF we'll get back together again", "see first".