Laughed a lot in school today :) So fun!

When I talk to you nowadays, feelings are fading.

Both your feelings and my feelings, i just know it. I can hear it in your voice. I know I'm such a burden to you, well I'm sorry? I know I've been a really bad girlfriend. I don't want you to hurt no more okay? Something in me tells me to walk away.. So that this will never happen again.. but I can't bring myself to do that. I can't stay away from you. I'm trying. When I think I don't need you, you talk to me and all those memories come flooding back. And I just miss them and I miss you! Sometimes I wonder if YOU miss me. I wonder if you like it now that we're not together.

You promised me forever, but that's what everyone says right? Until they break up. But I felt so strongly attracted to you. I felt so right with you. It was perfect, like I never want it to be with someone else. But unfortunately, it had to end. Those memories, I don't want them to just be memories.. I want them to be real. I want us to make more memories of us being happy together. I want us to actually be us. I want us to be together and to stop fighting.

I know that you said it's annoying that I always say the same thing.. But did you ever realise that I only say the same things because it was never solved? All you did was say you're sorry. You don't give me an explanation or a solution. You just say you're sorry and let it go. When I ask you for an explanation, you say you don't know. Of course I get sad right? Then I ask you again and again right? I was your girlfriend. I should have known things.

After a year of being with you, every time I talk to you on the phone had awkward silences. You didn't tell me anything from your day. You still don't. I feel so bad, like shouldn't I be the one you love talking to? You told me once that you like fun to talk to people. Am I not? Do you think I'm not? Do you think it's a waste of time talking to me? Every time I tell you my feelings, you say I'm complaining. I don't know what to do. I'm not complaining..

I was in love with you. So deeply. And I always tell people that I'm so lucky to have you as my baby. And that my baby is perfect; he's so awesome! Now? What can I say? I don't know either. I don't know if I'll ever be ready to be with you again.. If I do, would you change? You can't be with me and say you'll change. You'll have to change before you get back with me. And I'll have to learn to tolerate..

Wai Yuen told me.. I have to tolerate.

He wrote the word "tolerate" on my hand and drew a heart over it. And it actually meant something to me.. I have anger problems. I'm sensitive; I get angry sooo easily! But I forgive easily too.. That's the weakest point about me.. I need anger management pills. :(

I suck.