Time has gone by so fast! We almost broke up for 3 weeks already. Soon to be one month. It didn't seem so fast waiting for our anniversaries. Haha. But anyway, I'm good now. We're talking and all, but we're not sure if we're gonna get back together. I felt so desperate for it; but now I know I'm not ready for it.

It's like, everything I didn't want you to do.. you're doing it now. You're taking advantage of this time that we're not together to do all those things that you know I don't approve of. But since now we're not together, I can't say anything. So I just choose not to say anything at all. I fear of our love being not strong enough, but you said if we get back together, it'll be stronger than ever. But i seriously have doubts about that.

I have to be the one that calls you. I have to be the one that cries every night. I have to be the one that gets hurt by things you say. All you feel is.. a part thats missing - but it doesn't really make any difference. Doesn't mean that now that we're not together, we're just friends trying to fix our rough patch in our relationship, you can do whatever the fuck you want to that you know I absolutely abhor.

Well it does mean that. But what the hell. If you still really want me, if you still really have the feelings towards me.. You wouldn't. But you did. If you did have the intention of us again, you would be the one trying, not me; I've done my part. You wouldn't be pissed off at me for saying something you don't like, because you do that to me all the time. When you do something I don't like, I just fucking shut up about it.. But when I do the same to you, you get so pissed off.

We're not ready. Seriously not ready.